2 posts tagged “boys”

For Christmas, my best friend Elise got me this movie. It's funny - when we buy gifts for eachother, it's always something that we can do together and that we'll both use, so it's never just for the person we're buying the gift for.

Tonight, I went over to her house and we watched it. It was surprisingly good. The ending was a little different then I expected it to be, but there's an alternate version that came with it that I've yet to watch, so I'm hoping that there's a change in the ending in that version. But overall, so much fun. I'll probably watch it again tomorrow. Watch, it'll become my new found love or something soon haha.

Jay and I may hang out tomorrow, which I'm kind of excited for. I really want to go see Dreamgirls tomorrow but I just checked and the theatre here isn't showing it. I don't know why - maybe they'll have it soon. I know that they didn't have Brokeback Mountain though when it was out. I had to go about an hour away just to see that movie. It was worth it though. Anyway, I'm excited to hang out with him because then it might mean that Friday wasn't just a one night stand. Maybe a friendship or relationship will blossom for it. Who knows, right? I mean, we've been texting a lot since that night, which we've never done until now. So there's got to be something, right? I don't know.

of being single.

In reality, I have had 4 boyfriends in the past. The first was 10 months long, the others not even reaching a month. I've had my share of crushes. But now, I have been single since Last september. It's been almost a year. Why am I single?

I want to be with somebody. It's not like I'm desperate enough to be with somebody just for the sake of being with someone. I want to be with someone I care about, and I do care about a couple people alot right now. It's just that, they don't see me. I'm invisible to them.

Take Justin for example. My bestfriend all through elementary school, and mostly through middle school. Once he came out after I did in 9th grade, he and I have faded apart, and we'll never be the same we used to. But I've always had a crush on him, even from middle school. He's had crushes on me also, it just seems we are never available when we want to be. So nothing has ever worked out between us. I've told him many times that I have feelings for him, and he'll just say "aw" or something, but that's it. Last year when he told me he liked me, I asked him if he actaully wanted to have a relationship with me. He turned around and said he wanted to try things with his current "boyfriend" before he answered that question. I'll probably never lose feelings for him, they're too strong and they have been here for too long. I just wish, someday, he can see me the way I see him.

And my exboyfriend Ron. He's completely changed since we were together. He's not the same person anymore and I can't really find a trace of the old one in him. That's why we don't work out anymore, we've both changed. Personally, I believe that I am mostly the same person, because I haven't changed that much about me since. But he has completely changed his interest, morals, and personality for the most part. It hurts me to see him only because I want to see the old him, but I can't. I'm just stubborn probably.

I don't have anything else to write about. I'm sad.